Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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