proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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