You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize