Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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