Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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