walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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