Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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