Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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