I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize