My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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