if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize