The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
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I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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