Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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