I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
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Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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