Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize