Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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