So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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