Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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