there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize