I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize