It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize