I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize