just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize