Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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