You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need water and some morals
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