Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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