i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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