Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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