you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize