if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize