I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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