Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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