come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize