Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hate all girls vehemently.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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