Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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