I met the friendliest cop last night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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