Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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