All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize