I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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