I wanna bring you to show and tell
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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