She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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