I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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