Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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