She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize