my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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