I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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