No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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