don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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