So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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