im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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